This Is My Story
Breathe, he has a plan…..those are the words I find myself repeating over and over these days.
Anxiety. What does this word even mean? I had no idea until about 4 months ago.
How did I get here you ask? Well, it’s a long story but it’s my story and I’m ready to share it. For over 15 years I have dealt with hemorrhoids. No big deal, right? They came and went but unfortunately became increasingly worse as I got older and started having kids. It was to the point, where I was managing them daily just to avoid a flare up. This is not how I wanted to live the rest of my life so after many unsuccessful attempts at healing naturally, I opted for surgery. I was told that it would be painful for a couple of weeks and could last for a couple of months. A couple of months is manageable if I don’t have to worry about the hemorrhoids any more! So, I did it. I scheduled the surgery and it happened on January 7th.
Well, how did it go you ask? It has been the most painful and longest recovery that I have ever experienced. To this day (7 months later), I am still healing….still feel discomfort on a daily basis.
I was managing for a couple of months until I had to go back for a second procedure in March. This procedure is what tossed me over the edge. More like body slammed me into an unknown world of which I still haven’t figured out how to survive in.
Yes friends, I live with anxiety. It has consumed numerous days, thoughts and emotions. I am working my way through it. I have tremendous support from both family and friends. And without them, I don’t know where I would be.
There are many things I want to share and will over time. I experienced my lowest moment last week due to a change in meds. I have tried many different things to rid this evil from my mind.
Where I am today is better than where I was yesterday and each and every day will get better. I am trying to find the right coping mechanisms for me! For me, such a hard thing to say. I am a very family driven person and to say that I have to focus on me first is one of the hardest things ever!!
So, here I am, opening up to all that will listen to my story. My story that was planned for me by my God. For he knows the way, and he knows the path of which he chose for me to lead.
More to come dear friends but one thing I have learned through this all is trust…..trust your heart and trust in the lord. I have no control over this but I will be a better person in the end.
❤️
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I’m not in control
Another week has passed and I’m on the path of learning how to get through each and every day with anxiety. Each day is different. I never know how I may feel or what new fear may creep up. Having a plan is what gets me through my day. But what’s so special about the… Read more
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This Is My Story 